25.Jun.2010 Shared Parenting Does Not Work With Abusers
I find it interesting that a lot of these murder-suicides with fathers and children, which there has been so many lately, the father had equal or “shared parenting” already in place but that wasn’t good enough. The abusive parents that go to “shared parenting” groups (and no, I am not saying all people in “shared parenting” groups are abusive) yell about sharing, but they consistently show they want to drive their victims out of the children’s lives or punish them.
Shared parenting DOES NOT WORK with abusers. For research on this, look at the new document I posted from Australia last night that chronicles the problems since they instituted mandatory ”shared parenting.”
I believe in sharing parenting, where if dad took care of the kids more, he should continue; if mom took care of the kids more, then that too should continue. (And no, don’t use that ‘men have to work’ argument, because moms do too). No parent should cut another parent out of the children’s lives. Abuse trumps this though.
NM man in murder-suicide had order against him
The Associated Press
Posted: 06/23/2010 03:35:04 PM MDTSANTA FE, N.M.—A northern New Mexico man who authorities say killed his two sons and himself had “excessive anger,” his former wife wrote in a request for a restraining order 4 1/2 years ago.
Paula Martinez said in her Dec. 27, 2005, application for a restraining order against Melvin Martinez that he was threatening to take the boys away.
State police have said all evidence at the La Puebla home where the bodies were found Monday shows the 44-year-old father shot 12-year-old Derek and 10-year-old Devin with a handgun, then killed himself.
In a restraining order petition section asking what threats caused her to fear she might be injured, Paula Martinez listed “excessive anger, obsessiveness, threats, belittling (and) bad mouthing.”
State District Judge Raymond Ortiz granted the restraining order on Jan. 10, 2006. He later extended it to January 2008, but a motion filed in November 2007 canceled it.
Paula Martinez also told the court that “Melvin suffers from severe depression and obsessive compulsive disorder. He obsesses about everything. He makes mountains out of mole hills.”
Her petition said Martinez continuously belittled her, and once created a scene during a meeting with the older boy’s principal in which he was “full of anger” and “making comments on how stupid I was.”
Paula and Melvin Martinez were married Aug. 25, 1992, and divorced in October 2005, according to court records. The custody agreement over their sons had the boys spending time at both parents’ homes.
State police Lt. Eric Garcia said Wednesday autopsy results on the father and sons are expected Friday or Monday.
He said all three bodies were found lying on the same bed, with the father between the boys.
A next-door neighbor, Flossie Montoya, told the Santa Fe New Mexican she saw Melvin Martinez mowing his lawn and getting rid of tree branches Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day.
She said she wondered the next morning why he did not leave at his usual time for his job with the state Department of Transportation.
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Information from: The Santa Fe New Mexican, http://www.sfnewmexican.com
